Tricks and Treats
by I.Am.Sorta.Normal
Summary: ONE SHOT AND SLIGHTLY OOC. The Flock has to go costume shopping: Angel and Gazzy wanted to go trick-or-treating. The thing is, Max and Fang have just broken up. Woops. How far will Max go to tempt her "perfect other"? T for language.


Dear Ella,

I _so_ wish we'd stayed in Arizona until after Halloween. Because that night just turned out to be one sticky problem, with a couple of hot messes on the side. Myself included.

Here in Colorado, we kind of feel like we have normal lives. Well, as normal as our 2% Avian DNA will allow. But since our normal consisted more of dog crates and street smarts than classrooms and school dances (which really aren't that different), we were pretty darn close to normal.

I'm really ashamed of how I acted yesterday. Really, utterly mortified. But Fang, who is once again mine, did things even worse, and he is still locked up in his room as I write on this lovely first day of November.

So let the story telling begin.

Yesterday Angel and Gazzy decided they wanted to go trick-or-treating, and I'm pretty sure she convinced us with her, erm, ways. Since it was, oh look at that, the day of Halloween, we all went to a mall to buy some costumes. And that's when things got really bad.

We barely touched down outside the mall when Gazzy said, "Wow! Look at that car! Iggy, that car is sooooo awesome."

And that's when Fang, being the idiot boy that he is, said, "The girl driving it is even better."

Everyone gaped at him. Except for me; I was glaring his stupid butt off, and he wouldn't meet my eyes. "We're done," I said in my coldest voice, the voice I use to mask any type of vulnerable emotion. He knew that, and he tried sending me an apologetic look, but I'd already marched Angel halfway across the parking lot. I glared at the girl in the nice car, and she looked stunned, but then she quickly jammed her keys into the ignition and roared off. And guess what? The chick had red hair.

What a _shocker_.

Can you believe Fang just did that? Honestly, I'm still trying to think about it. Even if it's all blown over. Weird.

"Max, don't be mad. He wasn't really thinking about her like that. He's really sorry."

"Let him say that for himself," I said stiffly, dragging her into the shop. I had to quickly drag her away from the extremely whore-ish outfits ("_Naughty_ _Nurse_" and "_Tempting Teacher_" were among them. I'm surprised "_Slut_" wasn't the name of one of them. No need to sugarcoat).

And that's when the plan hatched in my mind.

I admit now that I look back on it, it was extremely stupid. I had to pretend to be absorbed with Angel and not look back, because the rest of the flock had arrived. But at that moment, I knew exactly how I was gonna get back at Fang.

Angel was a princess, Gazzy was a soldier, Nudge was... Well, the only word that can describe it is a professional vaudeville dancer. Which was slutty. Iggy managed to find a bacon costume in his size, and Fang was, wait for it...

Fang was a _vampire_. Which consisted basically of those rubber fangs and white make up.

If I hadn't been so mad at him, I would have laughed when the sales guy asked him if he wanted glitter powder.

I bought a simple Indian costume as a decoy. I'd be returning it later and exchanging it for something more appropriate for my plan.

As the purchase was going through, I casually asked the sales boy how long he worked. He flashed me a smile and said, "Until 7:00, babe." I admit, he was really cute, with brown hair swept across his forehead, bright blue eyes underneath. He looked maybe sixteen, seventeen at the most, and I smiled.

"I'll be back?"

He grinned. "Absolutely."

We left the store, and judging by Fang's expression, he hadn't missed me talking with the cashier. He hadn't heard, thank god, but it hadn't escaped his attention either. I wonder, if he had hear me...

Later that afternoon, I announced, "I have to go to the store," and Fang asked, "Why?"

I looked him straight in the eye. "Do you want to know?" I asked.

"Why can't I know?"

I smirked. "I need to go to the store for some girl stuff," I said, and I swear he blushed. Ella, you should have seen him. Dark red, it was _hilarious_.

"Oh," he muttered and I left. In his embarrassment he hadn't noticed I had a shopping bag, my costume inside, with me."

As I exchanged my innocent costume for the sluttiest one (The actual name was "_Sexy Waitress_", but let's just say it was more of "_Stripper Waitress_", or even "_Whore-ish Waitres_s". Even you wouldn't have worn it), I made small talk with the same guy. "So, you free tonight?" I asked, casually leaning against the counter.

He grinned. "Right after I get off work, I'm hitting the suburbs for some candy."

I smiled back and tried to do my best flirty voice, which was way rusty. "Want to come with us?" I asked, smiling widely.

"Those kids you came with earlier?"

"Yeah, they're my cousins," I said, smiling again. "We're visiting our aunt in the suburbs east of here."

He flashed another grin. "You familiar with Grinwild?"

I nodded, even though I wasn't. "7:30?"

He bagged my costume and handed it to me. "I'll be the one in the magician's outfit."

And that, Ella, is just how successful my flirting was. Like, _whoa_, you'd be shocked.

So I went home and got Nudge alone in my room. "Nudge, I need you to paint my nails," I said, pulling out the blood red polish I'd picked up on my way out.

Nudge was so stunned she didn't even ask questions. She simply took the bottle from me and did my nails perfectly. She even added a little bit of her own glitter to the end so that they screamed "sexy".

When the time came for trick-or-treating, I almost stuffed my plan. The waitress outfit was outrageously showy: the collar was cut to expose practically all of my chest, and the shirt was way too short for my liking. The entire dress stuck to me like Total stuck to us (annoying and _impossible_ to free yourself). And definitely, the perky hat was over my head (haha, get it? A hat over my- never mind). I strapped on my newest hooker heels and clicked out, clutching a small bag.

"Whoa, Max..." Gazzy muttered, and Fang turned around. I smirked at his wide eyes before plopping down next to Angel on the couch.

"Ready to go, princess?" I asked, smiling at her.

"Ready!"

We set out, and at 7:30, we turned onto Grinwild Road. I pretended to adjust the strap of my heel until the cute-as-hell cashier showed up. "Wow, fancy meeting you here," he said, balancing me before I fell over. "Do you need a hand?" he asked, winking. I smiled and put my arm through his. The action was extremely foreign and went against all of my (well, all two) of my morals, but I just told myself that this is what the "_Whore-ish Waitress_" would do.

I could feel Fang shooting glares at my back, but I ignored him.

"So, what's your name?" I whispered into his ear, making sure my new red lips brushed his skin.

"Drake. Yours, hot stuff?"

"Max."

He grinned at me. "Hot as hell, that's what you are, Max. Who's the vampire?"

"That's my ex, Fang. He came with me to visit my family, and now he's stuck with me," I whispered. "But I'm single."

I admit I started freaking out a little when Drake started kissing me as Angel and the others got candy. I didn't even know this guy, but he was already kissing me.

And that's when Fang got his revenge.

The next house we visited, Fang marched up and knocked. Angel piped, "Trick-or-Treat!" and the door opened to reveal the tiniest, curviest red head in the history of red heads.

"I'll take a treat," she said in a deep, sultry voice. She dropped some candy into Angel's bag and got kissed by Fang at the same time.

I chose that moment to kiss Drake, and pretty darn soon I was yelling at the red head and Fang was yelling at Drake. Yeah, yell-fests tend to be a daily thing for me.

Another thing to add to my normal, Ella. Remind me to do that some time.

So then, Fang threw a punch, and maybe he was an Eraser or something, because Drake caught it and punched Fang in the jaw.

I shrieked and ran towards them. Fang was angry, I could see it in his eyes. But he'd lost; his legs were pinned, his arms restrained.

"Please, Drake, don't," I begged while Fang yelled in a hoarse voice, "She's mine, you hear me? She's _mine_! What the _hell_ do you think you're doing, kissing her like that?"

And so Drake went into the red head's house, and we walked home. I helped Fang limp along, and he groaned occasionally.

Back in our house bathroom, I glanced at the two of us in the mirrors around us. Fang (minus the rubber fangs at this point), who was beat up and looked majorly pathetic, and me, in my whore costume, my make up smeared halfway off my lips. I bit my lip, unsure what to do. I was sitting _really_ close to him, wrapping tape around an ice pack to keep it on his hand. "You're so stupid," I muttered, pulling the tape way harder than necessary.

"I'm really sorry. For what I said about that girl," he said, and when I looked into his eyes, I saw that he really was. "Honest, I didn't mean it like that."

I shrugged, all my anger from earlier gone. "I'm sorry too. I don't know why I hooked up with that guy."

"Why'd you choose him?"

I smirked. "He was the cashier."

Fang groaned. "I was jealous of a cashier. Of a freaking _cashier_! What the hell."

I kept my smirk on my face. But inside, oh Lord, Ella, I was falling apart. So close to making out with him.

Except for that I accidentally made eye contact with him again, and then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to my sticky ones.

And, well. It was a _lot_ better than candy.

Ella, I know you didn't need to know all the details but here's the moral of the story:

Never ever, ever, _ever_ go to the mall with your boyfriend.

Lots of Love,

Max


End file.
